At the Crossroads

For about the past two or three weeks I have discovered that I have come to a crossroads in my life. I am no longer entirely sure that becoming an Aerospace Engineer is what I would like to do with my life.

I had already been having this thought for about a week before I took my first Calculus exam. It kicked my ass, quite thoroughly, to the tune of a 36%. As I sat there taking that test and realized I had no idea what was going on for more than half of it and I thought, "What am I doing here? Why did I even want to be an Engineer in the first place?"

I'm surrounded everyday by people who seem to enjoy doing math. While I realize no one loves calculus, there are many people around me who would rather take complex integrals and invert trignometric functions than write an essay or learn history. I have decided that I do not fit with that group. Math has always been my sore spot all the way through highschool. I now feel I'm in the wrong field, where they are expecting my weakness to be my strength.

So I've reached one of those moments in life when you are faced with choices that seem overwhelming. Do I stick it out and try to be an Engineer? Even though only 2 of the 14 speakers from the industry that came to my Aerospace class had jobs I could see myself doing happily? Do I give up on Calculus and switch to something else? If so, do I go premed and start on the path to become a doctor, which was my original dream when I was younger? Do I jump off the deep end and go to film school since I love to make videos? Or for journalism because I love to write?

Unfortunately these are all questions which, coupled with the flu I've had for the past week have been costing me sleep at night and stress during the day.

Hopefully I will find the answers to these questions soon!